Anxiety attacks

I have had a couple of anxiety attacks the last couple of weeks -- mainly at night. I wake up sweating and all I can do is think about everything that needs to be done before the baby arrives - professionally and personally. She will be delivered 4 weeks from tomorrow via c-section. Just the thought of having another c-section makes me nervous and scared. I guess I am just a big, weenie-wimp! The first 24 hours after a c-section are not fun! I can't even get out of bed the first 24 hours after a c-section because of the fact that I will be sporting a very fashionable catheter. I remember not being able to change a single diaper the first 48 hours because of the pain. I refused to take the recommended dose of vicodin because it is passed through the breastmilk making my baby very, very sleepy and not want to nurse. While in the hospital, she dropped an entire pound and a half (good thing she weighed over 8). While in the hospital, I ended up only taking 2 vicodin a day instead of the 6 a day I was allowed. To make my anxiety levels rise even more...I will be gone from school for 10 weeks and I am only half-way done with my lesson plans. I need to finish those soon so that I can meet with my substitute and walk her through them. I have no motivation whatsoever.

On a good note, I had a baby shower this weekend and I had a great time. I got a bunch of goodies and was so happy to see some people I had not seen in a long time. And, the presents are still coming - a big blessing right now. I am also having a diaper shower next week. You can never have too many diapers, right?

I love watching KB rub my belly. Her face lights up when she feels the baby kick. She even rubs lotion on my feet at night because of the fact that I can't reach them myself. She is so stinkin' cute. We are actually having some professional pictures made this weekend. I will have to get my hubby to download some for you.

Well, I will post again in a couple of days. I have my 35 week appointment tomorrow!!